david.hedges.name

Bouncing Bareback Baby Boomers

Headline: Gas prices drive man to commute
by horse.
Headline: Bakery makes deliveries
with horse-drawn wagon to beat gas prices.


Now comes news that market forces—
Laissez-faire-type economics—
Soon will find us riding horses
As we lose our crude oil sources,
Fueling jokes by late-night comics.

Percherons will soon be spotted
Hitched to SUVs and pickups
Parked outside the Food Mart. Potted
Palms will sprout where gas pumps squatted.
Guards will loom, alert for stickups.

Picture rush hour: Horse commuters
By the thousands standing idle
When some hip-hop dudes on scooters
Bound for Happy Hour at Hooters
Tangle with a gelding’s bridle.

Highway travel will to some seem
Wondrous, weird and wildly witty.
Visualize a 20-mule team
Caravan of shiny Airstream
Trailers tooling through Sioux City.

Bouncing bareback baby boomers
Proud astride their painted ponies—
All-time consummate consumers
Sporting Neiman-Marcus bloomers—
Will host Wild West shows for cronies.

Horse Marines will bite the dusty
Trail as caissons go on rolling.
Mothballed Humvees will turn rusty—
Same for tanks and other trusty
Weapons. Wars will stop for foaling.

[First published in Light: A Quarterly of Light Verse, Fall/Winter 2007]