Attorney General declares himself ‘brain dead’ (4/21/07)

“I don’t have anything to hide.”

Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General of the United States of America and former personal attorney to both President George W. Bush and former Texas Governor George W. Bush, standing naked before the Senate Judiciary Committee, pleading innocent by reason of inanity.

Sen. Leahy: “Tell us, Mr. Gonzales, what did you know and when did you know it?”

Gonzales: “I don’t recall.”

Sen. Graham: “I’ll simplify it for you. Where did you vacation last summer?”

Gonzales: “I have no recollection.”

Sen. Kennedy: “I’ll simplify it even further. What did you have for breakfast?”

Gonzales: “I have no memory.”

o o o o o

Alberto Gonzales — who, like Sgt. Schultz in the old WWII sitcom Hogan’s Heroes, “knows nothing” — invoked the above responses 74 — count ‘em! — times during the course of his testimony.

To underscore his other-worldly grasp of the situation, he stated — I’m not making this up, swear to God — “The moment I believe I can no longer be effective I will resign as attorney general.”

This after proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is not only out of the loop, he is a Fruit Loop who does the legal dirty work for Mad King George and Emperor Cheney but has no interest in, or awareness of, what actually goes on in the Department Formerly Known as Justice.

This is the idiot who rubber-stamps the unconstitutional initiatives of his Neocon masters. “Torture? Oh yes, your majesties! Spying on innocent citizens? What a good idea! Habeas corpus, you say? Open to interpretation! The Geneva Conventions? Outdated, I’d say!”

For what it’s worth, 63 percent of the American public believes Gonzales is a liar, and 52 percent believe he should step down. And was Dumb Bunny Bush chagrined by the horribly inept defense put up by his top legal lackey? Au contraire. He said he was “pleased.”

One dead brain assesses another. And so it goes.


What’s surprising is how transparent and clumsy Gonzales’ testimony was. If he really doesn’t remember anything about anything then he’s obviously not qualified to be running a cabinet level department.
Posted by: Andrew Hedges | Email | Web | April 23, 2007

Dumb Bunny Bush sets a standard for incompetence that all those “under” him adjust to. Propaganda Minister Karl Rove is beginning to crack at the seams, facing more crises than even he is able to juggle at one time. Emperor Cheney is back in his cryonic chamber, resting between calls to defend the indefensible on the Sunday morning talk show circuit, where he flaunts his blithering idiocy, consistently labeling failure a success, and branding clear thinkers as ten steps down from pond scum. Gonzales has no concept of justice, so why should he be expected to effectively run a cabinet level department known as Justice? He has “no memory” because it’s been wiped clean by Cheney, who threatens to send him to the land of his ancestors if he so much as whispers who among his Neocon overseers is responsible for undercutting the Rule of Law that once set America apart from barbarians. And so it goes.
Posted by: David Hedges | April 23, 2007

"Déjà vu all over again," to quote the late Yogi Berra. AG Jeff Sessions had no memory of two visits with the Russians. How soon before he declares himself brain dead?

Posted by: David Hedges | March 12, 2017